Study Shows That People Who Have Affairs Also Cheat Death

I bet if they if they did a little more research, they’d find that many of those who cheated on their spouse and were caught met a swift death.

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

cheatA new study published by Western Maine Medical Center, in conjunction with the University of Maine in Bar Harbor, refutes the longtime claim that cheaters never prosper.

According to the report, 73% of Mainers who were classified by researchers as “having cheated death” also admitted to having been unfaithful in a long term relationship.

“We stumbled upon this theory quite by chance,” Dr. Jennifer Altman, who heads the WMMC Research Department, told this Modern Philosopher.  “Three years ago, our Emergency Department saved the lives of a couple horrifically injured in an automobile accident.  We assumed they were married, but when their respective spouses showed up in the ED, we realized we had been wrong.”

According to Dr. Altman, one of the nurses sarcastically grumbled about cheaters cheating death.  That comment stuck with one of the doctors, who recalled a case from a few months earlier where a woman almost died…

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