This is what I’ve been wanting to say for years.
1. The Parking Lot
If a given vehicle is such a supreme piece of safety-violating crap that the only legal reason it should be on the road is if someone is hauling it to a salvage depot, this vehicle will instead be driven to the nearest Wal-Mart. The belching contraption will then be utilized to further undermine society in a number of ways.
It is apparently mandatory that the deathtrap be driven by an individual so incredibly impaired that it will take at least two hours to simply park the car. And this grueling feat of endurance usually follows the same mind-numbing pattern. First, the idiot heads straight toward the front of the store, as if there has ever been an available parking slot that close to the entrance.
The car will rumble in place for roughly twenty minutes, sitting right in the middle of the pedestrian crosswalk, forcing everyone…
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