Even though I’m not a big country music fan, one of Hank Williams III’s albums came across my desk one day and I just had to put it on. I mean, how could I not, being a self-proclaimed hell raising aficionado, and considering the title was, Straight To Hell. As I meandered through the thirteen songs, I soon realized that this was a man after my own heart: a rebel without a cause.
It’s believed that in ancient times, people toasted as a form of protection from being poisoned. They would clank their glasses together, purposely spilling one drink into the other to insure that each person was drinking from the same “well.” Over the years, it’s become a symbol for spreading goodwill or honoring a person at weddings, events and dinners. In college, it became a way of life and anyone wishing to partake in that life eventually had to make a toast.
Thus, the phrase “To you mother” came into being. Even though this saying is a big part of my novel “The Art of Raising Hell,” I can’t take credit for coming up with it. No, that goes to a fellow living on my dorm floor by the name of Sully. He was a gentle bear of a man with a deep baritone voice and more hair on his back than a Bactrian camel. We spent many a night drinking liquor, playing foosball and toasting our mothers. If you don’t know what foosball is, well, then you really need to get out more.
Before I get too far along with posts on this subject, I thought it best to post a blog that talks about the basics of raising hell. I decided to go back and analyze Lonny Nack, the main hell raisers in my book “The Art of Raising Hell”, and compile a list of what worked for him and what didn’t. There’s a good chance that I’ll update this list from time to time as other ideas come to mind. I’ve even left one number blank for you to fill in so please feel free to make suggestions.
Hopefully, these tips will help you along on your journey and maybe add a few years to your life. Not all of them may fit with your situation and that’s fine. But if you choose to ignore them all, well, all I can say is don’t let the door to heaven hit you in the ass as St. Peter kicks you down the stairs to hell. Continue reading
The middle finger is a very provocative weapon and should be in every hell raiser’s toolbox. Whether it’s subtly replying to a girlfriend who’s just told you that you’re getting fat or letting the guy across the field know what you really think about his football team, I can guarantee that this gesture will get your message across. Heck, in New York City, it’s a perfectly acceptable way to say hello! No matter how you use it, you’re bound to arouse attention. And, isn’t that what hell raising is all about? Continue reading
When I turned eleven years old, my dad left a cozy job selling life insurance and bought a tavern. He ran it for fifteen years, but after his second heart attack decided to turn it over to my brother-in-law. The crowd soon transformed from old factory workers into young Harley motorcycle riders. Every one of them looked like they’d jumped out of a ZZ Top album cover. They were the quintessential beer drinkers and hell raisers. Continue reading
“There are some people who walk on two feet and others like me that run on all four.”
This is the opening line to my new book and the mantra for this blog. Raising hell is an art form, pure, plain and simple. It can be practiced in many forms from running naked through middle of town to super gluing your boss’s favorite pen to his desk. It doesn’t matter whether you’re male, female, or something in between, we all have this inherent desire deep down in our souls to blow off a little steam every once in a while. Continue reading